The Only Things Facebook Is Still Good for in 2021

Facebook post of couple holding hands and showing their names tattooed on each other.

Seeing the engagement photos of a college classmate who friended you after you both auditioned for a student production of “West Side Story”—and who is now marrying the guy who ended up beating you out for the role of Tony.

Facebook post with a Pablo Neruda quote as the caption.

Regretting friending your tenth-grade English teacher right after graduation—and right before his divorce (how has it still not been finalized?).

Facebook post of woman vaguely supporting the cops.

Discovering which childhood friends seem to be a little bit pro-cop.

Facebook post of man adding moist to Sophie's Choice title.

Wondering if your uncle, who is allegedly quite high up at Citigroup, really has nothing better to do than comment all day on viral posts like “Ruin a Movie by Adding ‘Moist’ to the Title.”

Facebook post of person at U.N. with lip fillers.

Admiring the jawline that earned Zambia the Hottest Delegate superlative at the 2010 Cornell Model U.N. Conference.

Facebook post of people bringing doughnuts to the police.

Discovering which childhood friend unequivocally supports cops.

Facebook post of doctor partying with an I.V. bag.

Fearing for the future cardiac patients of the guy known in high school as “Four Loko Joe,” who these days strikes a remarkable balance between posting debauched rager pics (you didn’t even know people still partied like that in their late twenties) and heartfelt screeds about how difficult yet fulfilling his medical internship is.

Facebook post introducing world to baby named Quarantina.

Introducing you to your newest baby cousin, conceived and born during the pandemic, who someday you may even get to meet in person.

Facebook milestones for people starting and graduating from graduate school.

Wondering how, out of twelve hundred friends, you seem to be the only one who isn’t either starting or finishing grad school this year.

Facebook post of people who recently joined the police force.

Discovering which childhood friend is now a cop.

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